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Who is Doing all these Internet Searches?

We’re not saying this because we’re Pakistani, but we weren’t expecting the results we got from Google trends. But then, the results aren’t very accurate, given the small sample size we’ve already written about earlier. Having said that, we don’t disbelieve the results….per se. Let’s take a closer look at the search results.

Having started off on a disclaimer, let’s talk a bit about ‘the results’. What would your reaction be if we told you that the highest number of searches for the word ‘sexy’ came from Pakistan? You would probably be mildly surprised, or you might even say “I knew it” and move on. But then, what if we just said ‘animal sex’? You would stop what ever it was that you were doing, and say ‘what?’ That is right, ‘animal sex’ was apparently most searched for, from Pakistan. Now, I’m not saying Pakistanis do it. We mean it could be some kinky foreigners visiting Pakistan searching for animal sex, or it could be some saboteurs hacking Google to forge those results. Who knows? But for now, we shall assume it is a group of people from Pakistan, say the teenagers, who are doing it.

As we got more interested in searching – and just to clarify things, we were not searching for ‘animal sex’ when we stumbled upon this data, nor did we develop more interest in the search because of ‘animal sex’ – we discovered a lot of interesting trends which may or may not give insight into the Pakistani teenage mind. Yes, for now, we’ll blame it on the teenagers. As it turns out, animals aren’t the only subjects of adolescent fantasies. ‘Girls’, ‘girl-friend’, ‘sex pictures’ (pictures maybe because it probably takes a longer time to download movies – teenagers are impatient) and ‘kissing’. Well, at least they are all better than the earlier beast-fantasies (actually, come to think of it, they could just as well be gentle, furry animal-fantasies too).

To be fair to these Pakistani cyber adventurers, they are not interested only in erotic pursuits. They also want to ‘learn English’ (shows an inclination to learn foreign languages), are interested in ‘non-muslim’s (shows an open-minded approach to religion), search for ‘education’ more than anyone else (that has to be good, now), show a keen interest in ‘bodybuilding’ (a healthy pursuit after all!) and also honor ‘engineering’ by searching for it more than any other nation. These are all quite good, we must say, and an encouraging trend.

However, as we were heaving a collective sigh of relief for the redeeming searches just mentioned, we made yet another discovery. Pakistanis search for Aishwariya, Raveena, Katrina Kaif and Urmila (all Indian actresses) more than the Indians do! Coincidence, you say? Well, they also search for ‘Indian movies’ more than the Indians themselves. Why this unnatural love for Indian cinema? Now, there are the odd tennis enthusiasts in Pakistan, but we are generally a cricket-loving nation. We watch, and play, a lot of cricket. Why then do we seek web content on the Russian-born tennis playing Maria Sharapova more than the Russians or the Americans?

It would be interesting if we could see the chronological order in which these searches were made. But we have a feeling that after checking out the Indian heroines and tennis stars in all their gyrating glory, some people felt slightly guilty. And hence the following searches: ‘Allah’, ‘education’, ‘poetry’, ‘mosque’, ‘mathematics’, ‘XXX’ (we’re guessing this is some sort of a mathematical function – smart people).

Finally, we would like to point out the most alarming trend amidst all this light-heartedness. The youth who have made Pakistan number one among the search words we just reviewed, are also searching for a most horrible word: ‘immigration’! In a country which needs enterprising, computer-literate and intelligent (remember XXX?) youth, what would we do if this crop of young web-explorers moves out! We say stop this brain drain, and let Google report what trends it may. We stand by you, O curious minds and open hearts of our country. You’re not going anywhere!

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